why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
