drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
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