So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
