note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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