I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
