Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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