just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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