its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
