Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
