That's intense
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize