well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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