I hate your face
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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