He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I think my vagina is haunted
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
