After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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