I just saw a hot homeless man
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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