ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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