I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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