Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
