New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
