sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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