This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
