so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
