i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
