My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
