I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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