Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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