I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
