on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
