He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
