nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You're like the curious george of whores
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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