Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Randomize
