When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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