Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
And then my night got REAL pukey
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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