You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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