True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
