Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize