Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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