Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
