You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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