You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
