I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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