just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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