Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
you had me at cake vodka
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Randomize
