she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize