Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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