Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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