They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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