just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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