chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
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