i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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