There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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