Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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