yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
