I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize