Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
