i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
