i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
