so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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