I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
