This house was built for laser tag.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
