Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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