Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
