Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
