I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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