I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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