let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
sex in a hospital.. check
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
