her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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