ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
