Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I don't deserve a penis
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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