Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
then he tried to convert me to islam
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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