I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Go christen that room with your naked body.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize