So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I think I am morally bankrupt
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
