i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
